2023 update;

 Finally! 

  So, my divorce case is set for October 26th, 2023. After pretty much 7 years of separation, nothing's changed on his side. Still John has never given a shit about our son, he's almost in 3rd grade. I am thankful for the people in my life and our son's life with so much love and support! 

  Let me tell you, he got slapped with sooooo much karma since 2019 up till now. The greatest revenge was finally moving on like I had wrote in my last blog about 2020 being free of hurt and pain from my stbxh.

 Let me say, with all the evidence I saved from 2014 till 2019, I won my case. He got charged with Adultery in the air force (loser); It was a slap in the face to all his bartending Korean friends who believed him that he was divorced and his poor juicy girl mistress Danbi Park. xDD 

He got an LOR. Also, they kicked John out in Jan of 2019, he was sent back home to his 'mother & fathers place'. John wrote me a half-ass "I was wrong about everything, you were right, I fucked up big time etc bla bla bla". Which I could see right thru it he was so mad his plans got ruined that it took him his own entire strength to not write me off in his email because he knows he's a selfish jerk, an unfaithful, abandoning, pos spouse/partner and an absent father to our son for the last 8 years. He really thought he could get away. Let me tell you, a faithful-good woman and their intuition are 100% always right! =)

What really sealed the deal was the video evidence that was saved, ms Danbi  or how my friends and I like to call her Dumbitch-park really fucked it up for herself and for John by uploading stupid videos of herself and my stbxh on Instagram. Also, Ms Morgan (who is a staff sgt now) who gladfully turned herself in with her statement as a victim of his manipulation and abuse in their adulterous affair. Me and her have been good friends since the incident and she is finally married to a wonderful man. I am happy for her, and she does deserve someone who is honest, faithful and healthy for her. Love you Morg xx :)

Like after this divorce, it doesn't matter if he would go back to her or not. It's the fact he's sitting in his own nest having to live the rest of his live in a really dark place, his punishment is horrible until he actually repents to God and on the day of judgement when God asks him again where is your wife and son? He will cry for Gods mercy but there will be no Mercy when Jesus returns. Hell is where this guy is going while he's still making excuses or running away from his issues. Until he actually fixes them. Even if it's a girl from the town he lives with, he's still committing adultery in Gods eyes. The only way to remarry is if your spouse dies or if the spouse commits adultery first/abuses then the other one is free to go while the adulterer has repented and stay single until I die OR he tries to get back which I'll never go back to him. God put him away for a reason. He took out a rotten branch.   

I still crack up when I see this screen shot, that I took of Danbi when I confronted her. Apparently, she broke up with John multiple times especially when she found out he has a kid. Now I think she and him have been done for awhile. Its funny because, karma doesnt always hit the person back right away, sometimes it takes years. But eventually it does. Then theres the karma behind doors. Where it hits the pos person mentally. Thats his karma.

This stuff she wrote made me laugh.  This is how brainwashed and manipulated this girl was by my stbxh. He legit made her so mentally unstable that she had to argue with me if I was still married with proof. I dont need to proof anything except he got slapped with adultery by his leadership thats proof enough and the fact finally in 2023 we are in a divorcing. Morgan was a lot smarter than this girl. She at least could put two and two together and not waste her time on an idiot. 

I don't ever want someone to feel sorry for me, better yet. Feel sorry for him. Feel sorry that he grew up super messed up in a family that thought adultery was okay and acted fine in public. Feel sorry that.. he allowed his demons to get the best of him, that hes a narcissist and will never feel bad for hurting people, he manipulates multiple women and a poor Korean woman who was just lonely and desperate for love. 

The only person I feel sorry for is my son. That his father couldn't of just ended the marriage asap, still be civil. and been a father to our son. He already knows what kind of person his father is. His father has already missed 3 appointments that he promised to see our son but never showed up. Which was documented. An absent parent doesn't get to run in and out of a child's life. You are either here perm or stay out. Once we had our son, my son has always been 1st and that's final. 

I am thankful for going to therapy.  Thankful that I was able to take it in and learn how to manage the pain and etc. That I have been able to live the best of my abilities in the last 2 1/2 years feeling much better with healthy healing. I have new tools in my life to help get thru days that can become hard. 

2022 and 2023 have really been the best for my son and myself.  We have been thriving, having lots of fun and growing. I really appreciate all the support the last 8 years. Thank you to my friends who stayed by my son and my side thru out this whole shit show caused by pos John. Thank you to friends and family and coworkers who knew and supported me as well. <3

Here is to another year of moving past and for the divorce to be finalized in Nov 2023! 

I plan on having a girl's cookout as a celebration. No alcohol though because I do not drink. Also found out I have pcos so I've been having to navigate and figure out what foods I can have and cannot etc and drinks that are okay as well. I mostly drink water and sparkling water. I don't mind lemonade every now and then. Mostly eat low sugar/carb meals and then out of the week  I'm allowed to have 1 day where I eat a little unhealthy lol. 

Take care of yourself; Love yourself; be a little selfish; a bad day isn't the worst thing and its okay to have some down time and not be okay! <3 

Also, Brian and I did break up back in June (14th?) of last year. He and I just had too much going on. I wished him the best and I'll always love him very much. I want him to be happy and I hope his new job works well for him. Sometimes the "one" isn't always meant to be the one for us. They are temporary and I've accepted that. I had my grieving over him. It was a really hard break up because I didn't want that. But it's what he wanted, and we were a right thing at a wrong time. It happens. =(

After the breakup, I met someone new. His names Vongseng. Hes Laos-American. xD

He is 27 while I'm 29. He has already flown out to my state and stayed for a week. Hes met my son. I didn't introduce Vongseng to William until 4 months of dating. But they had a blast together. We plan on this summer all 3-spending time by going camping. Hes a really quiet and humble guy, little opposite of Brian. Weve been dating for 8 months now. Next year we plan on moving in together. William and I will be moving to the east coast to CT. I'm little nervous because I like my state. Its not bad. I don't know much about CT. But he lives like 2 1/2 hours away from NYC. Which would be cool to visit. 

I met him on vrchat as well. lol Also I took a break on that game. Its just too much and a lot of wierdos on there. Still a fun social game. 

So yeah, that's all for now. Goodnight. xx

Alanna (Juuubi)

2022 - March

 Update: 03/18/2022  💚

  Wow guys, it has been too long! I am so thrilled to be back on my blog again. I am going to do some cleaning from all my past posts. For me, I am at this grace point in my life where I am very content and everything is going pretty well. First of all lets give some praise to the Lord. He is good, he is great! I am very blessed to have such an amazing God who loves me, takes care of my family and watches over us, guides us with the holy bible and with the help of the holy ghost. So blessed, and not only that. God has recently prepared something so amazing for me. Something I have waited for so long. Not always will we get what we prayed for and that is okay. I didn't get exactly what I prayed for, for these last 6 years. I prayed for a fix in my marriage. I prayed for help. I got part of what I prayed for which is help and peace with healing. I did not get the fix in my marriage, because God saw and heard things I probably will never know about and that is okay. Whatever God puts in and takes out in my life, I trust him. No matter what sufferings I go thru like in 1 Peter Ch.: 4:16 "Yet any man suffer as a christian man, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf."  I praise God about it. I am a child of God and I am not ashamed of that. 

  But he gave me something incredibly better and healthier. He put someone in my life very recently that I just cant express in words enough of how amazing this person is. They lift me up and not down. They communicate with me as a team. They accept me as a fearing-God-christian-woman. They love me for who I am. This "they" person is my new current boyfriend 'Brian'. He is just awesome! He appreciates me and my son. He takes the time to have bible studies with me and listen. Of course we have a lot of same-interests. He also enjoys playing a few games that I enjoy playing. We have similar tastes in food lol. Both are very empathy-like. 

  I met Brian last year in 2021 around early September on a game called VRCHAT. Do I approve of this game, eh its questionable (lol). I would say 16+ for this game. Its crazy because I've made so many friends off of this game, that I am still friends with as of today (03/18/22). Brian and I started off as friends and then as I got to know him better thru the next two months, I really started to develop feelings for him. We spent a lot of time together over discord. It was the same kind of spark that I was longing for, which was the spark I had when I met my ex husband John. It was like fireworks, this sparkly-bubble like feeling with so much bright colors and joy.

   When I noticed I was starting to develop feelings for Brian, I asked God, is this real? Do I even deserve this? I didn't think that there was anyone there for me, after how horribly my ex husband treated my son and I. After he tore me down, used me and our son and threw our family away and abandoned the family for his selfishness and other woman in his military career (which ended in 2019; *karma*).  Being called names, being told I'm worthless. It destroyed me. But I seekd God during those hard times (6years). While God heard my prayers, little by little he was preparing me for something better, while I suffered a lot of pain and heartache. God had a plan for my son and I. 

   Late 2020 was the year I had enough. I was not going to allow these feelings of pain hold me down from moving forward anymore. I felt Gods strength he had provided me and got up and started walking forward. I had no idea where I was walking to but I just knew that it would be all okay! Which it was. I got my son into a bunch of fun activities, which has really helped me from thinking about the past. My son has had so much fun with this whole leggo team, basketball, swim lessons and karate. He's going to try out soccer this year which is very exciting us.  As I kept moving forward with things, I noticed I thought less of John and more of all these new events that were happening in front of my eyes. I finally quit caring about him. Which sounds mean but its true. I do hope the best for him and his family, I hope he repents to God for his sins. As I can remarry to someone only if the other married partner commits infidelity/affairs which he did. But for him he cannot remarry, he must stay single or reconciliate with his ex wife (me). Unless I had an affair first and cheated (which I did not, I am making a reverse example). then he would be able to get remarried to whoever in the eyes of God. That is what is written in the bible.  But even if he doesn't change or maybe does, at the end of the day on judgement day. God will ask. Where is your wife and child and etc. Hell have to be the one to answer to that. I pray for the woman involved with them, that if they are ignorant that he was married all those times he had affairs, that they repent for infidelity so they too, don't go to hell because of him. 

  So anyways, after all of that, its been great. Brian started trade school for electrician late of February, while I am busy with my stuff. Since he's a lot more busier than he was before, we don't have much time to talk during the week days. Like we still sleep on call together, like a few times a week using Discord. Then Saturday and Sunday is when we spend most of our time together. Also I would like to mention this super late, it is a long distance relationship lol. He lives in New Jersey, boarder of NYC -NY. He has an older sister (1 year difference). His parents and family are spread apart half over east-Asia and part east coast in the United States. Hm.. Oh I forgot to add, growing up he too played soccer just like me as a child which is funny and cool lol. 

  Ugh he is such a CUTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

  I just love Brian so much xx Man I am so thankful to have such a loving guy. Also our age difference lol. Brian's birthday is in May on the 25th. He is currently 22, soon to be 23. While my age lol, I just turned 28 on February 1st. So 5 year difference which its fine. Not big deal. But never expected to find my one true love that is a little bit younger lol. We have nicknames for each other which is cute too. We say things like wifey and hubby lol. Unofficial marriage hehh..  We have been dating/officially together since November 1st, 2021. 

  So my friend Geo, he's met Brian and really likes him. Geo is a guy friend of mine who worked with my ex husband in the air force. He continued to stay friends with me and was my biggest support for my son and  I after what my ex husband did to us.

  Brian is suppose to come visit sometime this year, I think this summer if all goes well. Also Brian is a  tall guy, he's like 6'2 as well xD. (me-have-thing-for-tall-men-ehhehehe). 

 

I just wanna hug Brian so much and give him plenty of kisses and just tell him how much I always appreciate him and his love/support and kindness. 

 Is our relationship wholesome?  70% yes and 30% a bit adult-naughty- lovey-dovey romantic ;) 

Ahh I crack myself up! xD 

:  Here is a picture of us together on VRCHAT: Brians username online that he goes by is BlameKarma (Karma is the black hair girl avatar)  My username that I am known by is Juuubi (I am the one with the blue hair avatar)  Also I'm seen on a few streamers videos on vrchat that use twitch XD💚

  

(02/2022)

  

So yeah, anyways...  That is all for now. What an update, now I just gotta go thru my past blogg posts and decided what if i should delete all and start over and just keep this post as  my 1st rejuvenating post. Or keep the old ones to show how far ive come? Ya know?

eheheheh

mkay, talk to you guys later <3

Mwaaahh.😘

(should I say Alanna or Juuubi xD) Which identity? lol Ill go with both

- Alanna (Juuubi)

  

First blogg

Alright so this is my first blog in a long time. I am pretty stoked about writing again. I feel as if writing my thoughts are very relaxing and rejuvenating. I'm very excited to post my poems i have been writing for quite some time. Also the short stories i have saved in my journal.

Its interesting because most people dont know i really enjoy posting thoughts or poems or even short stories or even my life situations. I remember starting out with a pen and paper at the age of 6. I would write down my imaginations of magical life outside of a only known life from royalty. Or at the age of thirteen, i had written a 20 page about a young girl who was dealing with her own problems at school and trying to find a place where she belongs. 

I've been going through a lot of for my age [22].  A lot of not so good things and as a parent its been hard. I thought to myself the other night why dont i just start off making a blogger and vent and use my frustration and turn it into something useful. After realizing this is a good positive way to express my feelings that i am going to peruse down this avenue. 

I hope you enjoy my short stories that i will be posting, feed back is always awesome to hear. Critiquing my posts is always welcome here.  Obviously i am not a pro here so every help counts! 

-  Thank you for taking the time to read my first blog. 

Sincerely,

Alanna F.