Update: 03/18/2022 💚
Wow guys, it has been too long! I am so thrilled to be back on my blog again. I am going to do some cleaning from all my past posts. For me, I am at this grace point in my life where I am very content and everything is going pretty well. First of all lets give some praise to the Lord. He is good, he is great! I am very blessed to have such an amazing God who loves me, takes care of my family and watches over us, guides us with the holy bible and with the help of the holy ghost. So blessed, and not only that. God has recently prepared something so amazing for me. Something I have waited for so long. Not always will we get what we prayed for and that is okay. I didn't get exactly what I prayed for, for these last 6 years. I prayed for a fix in my marriage. I prayed for help. I got part of what I prayed for which is help and peace with healing. I did not get the fix in my marriage, because God saw and heard things I probably will never know about and that is okay. Whatever God puts in and takes out in my life, I trust him. No matter what sufferings I go thru like in 1 Peter Ch.: 4:16 "Yet any man suffer as a christian man, let him not be ashamed; but let him glorify God on this behalf." I praise God about it. I am a child of God and I am not ashamed of that.
But he gave me something incredibly better and healthier. He put someone in my life very recently that I just cant express in words enough of how amazing this person is. They lift me up and not down. They communicate with me as a team. They accept me as a fearing-God-christian-woman. They love me for who I am. This "they" person is my new current boyfriend 'Brian'. He is just awesome! He appreciates me and my son. He takes the time to have bible studies with me and listen. Of course we have a lot of same-interests. He also enjoys playing a few games that I enjoy playing. We have similar tastes in food lol. Both are very empathy-like.
I met Brian last year in 2021 around early September on a game called VRCHAT. Do I approve of this game, eh its questionable (lol). I would say 16+ for this game. Its crazy because I've made so many friends off of this game, that I am still friends with as of today (03/18/22). Brian and I started off as friends and then as I got to know him better thru the next two months, I really started to develop feelings for him. We spent a lot of time together over discord. It was the same kind of spark that I was longing for, which was the spark I had when I met my ex husband John. It was like fireworks, this sparkly-bubble like feeling with so much bright colors and joy.
When I noticed I was starting to develop feelings for Brian, I asked God, is this real? Do I even deserve this? I didn't think that there was anyone there for me, after how horribly my ex husband treated my son and I. After he tore me down, used me and our son and threw our family away and abandoned the family for his selfishness and other woman in his military career (which ended in 2019; *karma*). Being called names, being told I'm worthless. It destroyed me. But I seekd God during those hard times (6years). While God heard my prayers, little by little he was preparing me for something better, while I suffered a lot of pain and heartache. God had a plan for my son and I.
Late 2020 was the year I had enough. I was not going to allow these feelings of pain hold me down from moving forward anymore. I felt Gods strength he had provided me and got up and started walking forward. I had no idea where I was walking to but I just knew that it would be all okay! Which it was. I got my son into a bunch of fun activities, which has really helped me from thinking about the past. My son has had so much fun with this whole leggo team, basketball, swim lessons and karate. He's going to try out soccer this year which is very exciting us. As I kept moving forward with things, I noticed I thought less of John and more of all these new events that were happening in front of my eyes. I finally quit caring about him. Which sounds mean but its true. I do hope the best for him and his family, I hope he repents to God for his sins. As I can remarry to someone only if the other married partner commits infidelity/affairs which he did. But for him he cannot remarry, he must stay single or reconciliate with his ex wife (me). Unless I had an affair first and cheated (which I did not, I am making a reverse example). then he would be able to get remarried to whoever in the eyes of God. That is what is written in the bible. But even if he doesn't change or maybe does, at the end of the day on judgement day. God will ask. Where is your wife and child and etc. Hell have to be the one to answer to that. I pray for the woman involved with them, that if they are ignorant that he was married all those times he had affairs, that they repent for infidelity so they too, don't go to hell because of him.
So anyways, after all of that, its been great. Brian started trade school for electrician late of February, while I am busy with my stuff. Since he's a lot more busier than he was before, we don't have much time to talk during the week days. Like we still sleep on call together, like a few times a week using Discord. Then Saturday and Sunday is when we spend most of our time together. Also I would like to mention this super late, it is a long distance relationship lol. He lives in New Jersey, boarder of NYC -NY. He has an older sister (1 year difference). His parents and family are spread apart half over east-Asia and part east coast in the United States. Hm.. Oh I forgot to add, growing up he too played soccer just like me as a child which is funny and cool lol.
Ugh he is such a CUTIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
I just love Brian so much xx Man I am so thankful to have such a loving guy. Also our age difference lol. Brian's birthday is in May on the 25th. He is currently 22, soon to be 23. While my age lol, I just turned 28 on February 1st. So 5 year difference which its fine. Not big deal. But never expected to find my one true love that is a little bit younger lol. We have nicknames for each other which is cute too. We say things like wifey and hubby lol. Unofficial marriage hehh.. We have been dating/officially together since November 1st, 2021.
So my friend Geo, he's met Brian and really likes him. Geo is a guy friend of mine who worked with my ex husband in the air force. He continued to stay friends with me and was my biggest support for my son and I after what my ex husband did to us.
Brian is suppose to come visit sometime this year, I think this summer if all goes well. Also Brian is a tall guy, he's like 6'2 as well xD. (me-have-thing-for-tall-men-ehhehehe).
I just wanna hug Brian so much and give him plenty of kisses and just tell him how much I always appreciate him and his love/support and kindness.
Is our relationship wholesome? 70% yes and 30% a bit adult-naughty- lovey-dovey romantic ;)
Ahh I crack myself up! xD
: Here is a picture of us together on VRCHAT: Brians username online that he goes by is BlameKarma (Karma is the black hair girl avatar) My username that I am known by is Juuubi (I am the one with the blue hair avatar) Also I'm seen on a few streamers videos on vrchat that use twitch XD💚
(02/2022)
So yeah, anyways... That is all for now. What an update, now I just gotta go thru my past blogg posts and decided what if i should delete all and start over and just keep this post as my 1st rejuvenating post. Or keep the old ones to show how far ive come? Ya know?
eheheheh
mkay, talk to you guys later <3
Mwaaahh.😘
(should I say Alanna or Juuubi xD) Which identity? lol Ill go with both
